


the stars in the sky

by teabreathingdragon



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Carmilla is a sad and old vampire, Carmilla-centric, Drabble, F/F, Light Angst, drabble-ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-07
Updated: 2015-07-07
Packaged: 2018-04-08 03:43:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4289475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teabreathingdragon/pseuds/teabreathingdragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She looks at you like you placed the stars in the sky and you love her like she is one of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the stars in the sky

**Author's Note:**

> Carmilla-centric.

            She nuzzles her head into the crook of your neck and you drape an arm around her shoulders. You bury your face in her hair, drowning yourself in her scent. (This way you can’t get lost in her eyes.)

            Whenever your eyes meet, she looks at you like you placed the stars in the sky. Golden flecks dance around with wonder and adoration (and something else you would never dare name. _You shouldn’t.)_ You should feel happy. You don’t deserve her admiration and affection and yet you have them (you have her. _You shouldn’t you shouldn’t.)_ You should feel happiness – not the bile rising up your throat, taking the breath you don’t need and filling your mouth with its bitter taste. (You try to chase back the flavor of her lips).

 _You do not deserve her._ She is nineteen – so young, so innocent, so brilliant. She has a life ahead of her (a real one, not like yours). She will paint the world with her ideals, lead her generation with her light. She will change the world. Her spirit is too big for you to believe otherwise. She will accomplish more in her less-than-a-century of living than you ever did in your three (or you ever will in a hundred, in a thousand.) And yet she admires you.

            She _admires_ you. _You._ Three hundred and thirty-four year old vampire ( _monster)_ made of snark, sass, and sarcasm. You are three hundred and thirty-four years of baggage and pretend apathy, three hundred and thirty-four years of tragedy, three hundred and thirty-four years of scars yet to heal (the ones you have, the ones you gave others, the ones you gave yourself) and Laura admires you. She admires your courage, your heroism, and your strength.

            You are none of these.

            You were afraid. You are a _vampire_ — you have had forever and you had nothing to lose – and yet you were afraid ( _for her_ ).

            You were selfish. You cared about her, _only her_. Everyone else be damned. You were never a hero – you just wanted her ( _it’s always about her)_.

            Three hundred and sixteen years ago you were weak.

            

            She admires you for things that aren’t _you._ But you are selfish, so you take it ( _you take everything_ ).

 

            She looks at you like you placed the stars in the sky and you love her like she is one of them.

           (She is so bright and one day you will watch her fade away. Her face will wrinkle like the slowly shifting constellations. She will be different but she will always be beautiful. Her light glows so bright and so hot, but one day you will watch her dim and grow cold, until all that is left is a dark, dark void.)

 

            (The bitterness in your mouth seems harsher, but she is still in your arms. So you lean down and temper the taste with her lips.)

**Author's Note:**

> Haven't written anything in a while. And first time writing for Carmilla! Comments are appreciated :D


End file.
